Top Shelf Read online

furry like ours." He siticks out his tongue.

  "You got somethin' to drink?" Conductor asked the little man.

  We might dry," Doc said.

  "I'll drink anything," Conductor said. "don't even have to be wet?"

  "Sweet, sweet Jesus," Deacon sang,

  " Before he got tired of carrying the cross,

  And left this earth to be with theBoss,

  His throat was dry and a woman came by,

  She quenched his thirst with a bottle of rye."

  "Gentlemen," Top Shelf said, "You fellas in piss-poor shape. An the Deacon hear quotin' the hist-or-ocity a the Bible, touches my heart

  "We need a drink," Doc said. "Not a school lesson!"

  Top Shelf walked to the end of the pier reached over the edge and untied an old clothesline from a protruding spike. Deacon sat down in his cardboard throne with his back to the water. Doc and Conductor leaned over the edge of the pier watching Top shelf haul up on the clothes line. A partially filled gallon jug broke the surface of the water.

  "Oh my god!" Conductor said, "It's more than half full!"

  Doc patted Top Shelf's shoulder, "Be careful bringin it in. Don't want it to break."

  "Didn't the Lord save Daniel from the lion's den and Jonah from the belly of a whale." Deacon sang, "Sweet Jesus, sent Top Shelf to share with us cause God will never fail.

  "That jug even go a label," Doc said.

  Ain't the Holy Ghost, Big J or the Father who got this jug. Top Shelf said. I did it by myself playin' spoons in the park to get the money.

  "what kind of label that got?" Doc asked.

  From the valley of Snappa Sanoma. Its west coast vintage, "Top Shelf smiled. He undid the cap, took a drink and passed the large jug to Doc. The old man took it in his trembling hands but hesitated before drinking. "Top Shelf, do you finger the gullet?"

  "No, but I sure do watch it close."

  Watchin' ain't stickin' the gullet? Right? Conductor asked.

  As long as we share fair! Top Shelf said, "One good gulp to one good people." The bottle passed from Doc to Conductor to deacon and back to Top Shelf as each man finished he joined the others singing and the bottle continued around in time to the song:

  "Wine, wine, wine red cherry,

  Wine, wine, wine blueberry,

  Wine, wine, wine elderberry,

  Watch that bottle go round."

  The four men are laid back and each glows with the inner warmth of the wine and the outer warmth of the sun and shared friendship

  What more could a man want," doc said, "But to drink wit' his friends and be foolish. Now all of you do this." He sticks out his tongue. Say AAaaaahhh! I got to examine you." He points to each one in turn and they comply. "See!" Doc said, "The furry little beast that was in our mouths is gone!"

  Sweet Jesus, God made a heaven and hell but while were drinkin the Lord made it so swell.!"

  "this do by fine wine," Doc said.

  "Man, don't you know Top Shelf dirnk nothin' but the best and eat kippers when he doin' it.

  Sweet Jesus God made man an the swine and Top Shelf who gave us the fruit of the vine."

  "You fellas know I was born in a log shack in the Sitzerland Mountains?" Top Shelf said. "They ain't got no pussy cats in Sitzerland. Too high for cats. You fellas know I learned to ski before I could walk?"

  "an your Momma was a snowshoe rabbit," Conductor laughed.

  "shouldn't talk like that about a man's Momma," Doc said. "I took ski lessons at Yale. It were at Yale I got my doctrination."

  The bottle kept going around, top Shelf drank and said, "Guess everybody goes to Yaleone time or another."

  "Doc means jail," Conductor said.

  I graduated there too," Top shelf said.

  The bedraggled young man appeared from behind the trash heap and shuffles over to the group, "I'm hungry," He said.

  "Who are you?" Doc asked.

  "I'm hungry." The young man repeated.

  "How they call you?" Conductor asked.

  "Neil" the young man said and pointed at the jug, "can I have a drink?"

  "Ain't much left," Top Shelf said and handed up the large jug. Neil up eneded the jug and finished the last of it. "We throw dead soldiers into the river," Top Shelf said nodding at the bottle.

  Neil stepped to the edge of the pier and lofted the bottle out over the water. He lost his balance and if Top Shelf had not reached up and grabbed him he would have tumbled into the East River.

  "Thanks for the drink and for saving me. I can't swim," Neil said.

  "Sonny," Top Shelf said. "when did you eat last?"

  Neil shrugged and gazed out at the river.

  "You been sleeping in those clothes," Top Shelf said. "But they aint' no Salvation Army issue. He peered up into Neil's face and clapped his hands.

  "Sonny," Conductor said. "When Top Shelf talks you pay attention. We ask questions later."

  "You're in piss-poor shape," Top Shelf said to Neil."

  "That's an understatement," Neil said.

  Doc stretched out on the positioning himself in the shade of an old telephone pole and went to sleep. Conductor joined him in the elongated shadow and Deacon dozed off in his cardboard throne.

  "Help me up," Top Shelf said and took Neil's hand. "Come with me. The little man pulled Neil toward the warehouses. "We'll get you something to eat."

  "Why are you helping me?"

  "How old are you? Top Shelf asked.

  "Thirty-six."

  If you want to be thirty-seven gaot to eat."

  "Makes no difference."

  "You a druggie?"

  Neil shook his head, "No, makes me dream." He hugged himself and trembled. "I don't want to dream."

  "Nobody down here wants to dream. Statistics show that people your age are prone to drugs."

  "Sometimes you talk like a Black hillbilly," Neil said, "and other times you speak good English."

  "How do you know the way I talk?"

  Neil pointed to the trash heap behind the fence, "I listened before I came out."

  Top Shelf patted the young man's shoulder, "there's still hope for you. At first I figured anyone who0 can starve in a city where a blind pussycat can find food must be pretty dumb."

  "Don't get your hopes up about me," Neil said.

  "Here comes O'looney," Top Shelf said and pulled Neil along toward a big man pushing what appeared to be a mini-bar on wheels.

  "Garcon! Garcon!" Top Shelf cried. I'm a prayin' you got some a the good stuff from on high! Cause it’s the bad stuff what blinds us pussy cats."

  O'Looney tied his white apron around his beer belly, reached over the portable bar and tugged Top Shelf's baseball cap down over his eyes saying, "T.S. if your buyin' I'm supplin' and only from the top shelf" He placed a bottle on the bar and points to the label.

  "That will be fine Garcon," Top Shelf said raising the baseball cap from his eyes and doing a little dance. Give this young fellow one. He's my drinking companion!"

  O'looney maintained his grip on the bottle with one hand and put two shot glasses next to it but did not pour. He pointed at top Shelf, "What are all those spots on you coat and hat?"

  It's the pigeon pox," Top Shelf said.

  "Where did you get it?"

  "I was gone to the park watching the people, what they are doing and how they are doing it. Fell asleep. The pigeon's got to shittin' on me. I woke up thinkin' I the Bird Man a Alkatraz. That's why I was looking for the commode.

  "You look like the commode!"

  Neil reached over and tried to brush Top shelf's coat. O'looney asked, "Where you from kid?"

  "Upstate. Are you O'looney?"

  "The Barroom Bishop himself!" the big Irishman stood proud.

  Neil pointed to the sign reading Mission Bar, "What does that mean?"

  O'looney brought his large meaty fist down hard on the bar top. "This bar serves drinks six days a week. Tomorrow, on the Lord's day and every Sunday rain or shine, this bar becomes a mission on the waterfront." O
'looney came around the bar carrying two stools He puts them close to the bar, indicates the two men should be seated then rapped the bar with his knuckles next to the whiskey bottle and glasses, "Gentlemen, decorate the mahogany!"

  "Do you take my gold or platinum credit card?"

  "If you want to see this leprechaun pour, get up the cash or your out the door!"

  Top Shelf held onto Neil's shoulder, stood on one foot and pulled his shoe off the other picking a five dollar bill from his sock. He waved it saying, "If you want to see the leprechaun piss, you got to give him some of this!" He slapped the bill on the bar." The three men at the bar did not see Sharkey and Hoey lurking in the shadows of the nearby warehouses"

  Take the fiver!" Top shelf said.

  Sharkey shouted, "And I got five more for you," He shook his fist as he and Hoey charge forward. Neil almost fell off his chair and backed away.

  Top Shelf faced both men saying, "What do you fella's want?"

  "We want to break your skinny little ass!" Sharkey said.

  "It's already cracked. Why you want to bust it?"

  "Cause you don't share with us!" Sharkey said.

  "Yeah," Hoey said, and we asked if you had money?"

  Top Shelf backed up closer to O'looney saying, "I don't remember no question about money?"

  The two men advanced on Top Shelf and O'Looney reached over the bar and retrieved a baseball bat. He slapped the bat in the palm of his hand facing the two men, "Boy's Top Shelf's money is more my business than yours. Disturb my clients and I'll serve your scrambled brains for lunch."

  , "Yeah," Top Shelf peeked out from behind O'looney and said, They be mighty small portions,"

  Sharkey backed away from O'Looney bumping into Hoey. He pointed at Top Shelf, "Little man, I don't forget you." He pulled his jacket back showing the handle of his knife tucked into his belt.

  "We'll get you!" Hoey said. And the two walked off into the shadows cursing

  Top Shelf patted O'Looney's back,